crumbs and frosting

If the number of times I’ve dramatically injured myself in the last half hour is any indication, you should all probably maintain your distance.

Dealing with Bureaucrats

ARWB: left another message
of course he didn't answer
OF COURSE
Me: naturally
answering is not reginald's THING
you all just don't understand his STYLE
ARWB: yeah
and clearly responding to emails is beneath a man of Reginald's stature
Me: Reginald is very, very important and busy
and if you CARED enough, you would see that
ARWB: clearly
MAYBE he'll deign to answer in 2012, but really, who knows
Me: I mean, the apocalypse is coming
so probably he should just work on improving Reginald
rather than helping other people
ARWB: Reginald is too good for fingerprints, he really has no time for lowly creatures who still do
Me: Reginald was made in the Lord's image, so Reginald doesn't HAVE fingerprints
ARWB: instead he has tiny images of Jesus embossed on his fingertips
Me: in gold
ARWB: platinum, gold is for peasants

Apparently I was very serious about trees.

Who has four paws and just stole a cookie off the counter?

WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT .

(via me against them)

just bought:

2 pounds butter
large bag sugar
probiotics

loneeel:

aeromachia:

sergeantprnz:

WHO NAMED THIS FLOWER

IT BARGES INTO ALL YOUR CONVERSATIONS

IT GIVES YOU A STUPID NICKNAME WHEN YOU’VE MET, LIKE, ONCE

IT WIGGLES ITS STAMENS AT YOU SUGGESTIVELY FOR NO REASON

IT IS: THE AGGRESSIVELY FORWARD BEARDED IRIS

Aggressively Forward Bearded Iris, who did name you? How does an Aggressively Forward Bearded Iris make a life?

(Source: )

(Source: weloverifftrax)