crumbs and frosting

Jan 10

oh my, work website,

I do not think you meant to give me this complete a picture of the client’s financial life. I really do not think you did. 

Jan 07

I have discovered amazing fresh-squeezed orange juice within three blocks. Life may never be the same. 

Jan 02

If the number of times I’ve dramatically injured myself in the last half hour is any indication, you should all probably maintain your distance.

Dec 30

Dealing with Bureaucrats

• ARWB: left another message
• of course he didn't answer
• OF COURSE
• Me: naturally
• answering is not reginald's THING
• you all just don't understand his STYLE
• ARWB: yeah
• and clearly responding to emails is beneath a man of Reginald's stature
• Me: Reginald is very, very important and busy
• and if you CARED enough, you would see that
• ARWB: clearly
• MAYBE he'll deign to answer in 2012, but really, who knows
• Me: I mean, the apocalypse is coming
• so probably he should just work on improving Reginald
• rather than helping other people
• ARWB: Reginald is too good for fingerprints, he really has no time for lowly creatures who still do
• Me: Reginald was made in the Lord's image, so Reginald doesn't HAVE fingerprints
• ARWB: instead he has tiny images of Jesus embossed on his fingertips
• Me: in gold
• ARWB: platinum, gold is for peasants

Dec 26

Apparently I was very serious about trees.

Dec 24

Who has four paws and just stole a cookie off the counter?

Dec 20

WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT WALT .

(via me against them)

Dec 16

just bought:

• 2 pounds butter
• large bag sugar
• probiotics

Dec 12

loneeel:

aeromachia:

sergeantprnz:

WHO NAMED THIS FLOWER

IT BARGES INTO ALL YOUR CONVERSATIONS

IT GIVES YOU A STUPID NICKNAME WHEN YOU’VE MET, LIKE, ONCE

IT WIGGLES ITS STAMENS AT YOU SUGGESTIVELY FOR NO REASON

IT IS: THE AGGRESSIVELY FORWARD BEARDED IRIS

Aggressively Forward Bearded Iris, who did name you? How does an Aggressively Forward Bearded Iris make a life?

(Source: )

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