April 2009
67 posts
Someone tell Firefox that it’s not allowed to crash while Mama’s watching her stories.
“The moment he laid eyes on the lifeless body of the nude socialite sprawled...”
– Artie Kalemeris, Fairfax, Virginia (1997 Winner)
Wretched Writers Welcome
March 2009
94 posts
“She can star in the Oxygen original series Xena: Warrior Planner, in which the...”
– Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty
Kim Kardashian’s backup career plan…
The Prince and Me 2: The Royal Wedding is a poor excuse for a poor excuse for a movie. It only contains one (1) actor from the first movie, and he is the best part of the whole thing, which is not saying much, since he wasn’t very good to start with. Even Julia Stiles refuses to be part of this debacle.
“Damn straight I am going to eat this cookie. I am going to eat it and LIKE it.”
– internal response to the woman next to me on the airplane who kept proclaiming that cookies were garbage and killing america.
kshhkshh:
victoriaisamess:
You And I - Ingrid...
“And I feel like a queen On this sunny city...
She's Baaa-aaack
After a long (much longer than it should have been) flight home, I am back from spring break, still in that hungover haze of airplane induced sleep deprivation.
In unrelated news, this morning I was woken up by an actual, literal earthquake.
wordvomit:
you’d think that with all the times people say something like iPod 1, Zune 0, the scores would have accumulated to something slightly higher by now.
I wonder how one would go about assembling a cumulative score…surely someone could write some sort of script for that?
TSA: Prohibited Items →
Did you know that you can now have nail clippers on planes, but not snow globes or gel shoe inserts?
candy covered hopes
You see a small, green (or red or orange or yellow) candy coated morsel sitting on a plate. It is unmarked, and you can’t tell what its interior might hold (imagine for a moment that skittles and M&Ms are exactly the same shape).
Which one do you hope it is when you bite in? Chocolatey goodness, or refreshingly fruity?
Update on The Blue Lagoon:
You will like it if:
You like watching naked 15 year old brooke shields.
You like watching pretty islands.
You like to watch naked teenagers swim in the ocean.
You will not like it if:
Simplistic victorian narratives annoy you.
Human sacrifice by the boogie man annoys you.
People who don’t know where babies come from annoy you.
You call movies “films.
Ahh, the sweet sweet silence that comes only on the tail end of a long fire alarm next door.
“For Teen Girls Only”
– The Blue Lagoon (1980) on IMDB
My kind of movie.
Just kidding.
Not really.
You can watch it right now on Hulu.
SO CLOSE.
This paper is SO CLOSE. I just have to get rid of the bullshit last….page.
Pointing out spelling errors is how you tell a boy...
stopyourclocks:
(via meaghano)
Agreed.
Chris, feel free to pitch in on this one.
North American Discworld Convention 2009 →
Man, Terry Pratchett, why’ve you gotta come to places near where I live after I don’t live there anymore???
NO. JUST NO. NOT CORRECT.
Patimokkha - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia →
The rules for Buddhist monks are incredibly detailed, and include precise instructions on everything from walking to the proper way to eat rice and how many robes you may accept from any particular person.
Hulu - The Rage in Placid Lake →
I totally recommend this movie. Australian accents, classical allusions, and young rebellion.
It seems like this year has had more than its share of Friday the 13ths.
Attn: fb friends
wordvomit:
cupcakenation:
Please do not refer to yourself as “bean.” No one actually calls you that.
What? Who does that? No one does that. Why would they do that?
DENIAL.
Someone does that. I will not use names, but someone we both at least kind of know does that REGULARLY.
“INSOMNIA FTW.”
Attn: fb friends
Please do not refer to yourself as “bean.” No one actually calls you that.
How to Become a Web Sensation
Walt: how are we going to become a web sensation? is what i meant to ask a while ago
Me: we will
uh
make hilarious VLOGS
alternating whose turn it is
and then people will be like omgwtfbbqthesepeopleareawesome
and we will be an internet sensation
Walt: sounds like a solid plan to me
Me: i mean, I think our success is pretty much guaranteed
By the way, Chris points out that I should tell you that I do know that the harmonica thing is way “internet granny old.”
Seattle Eastside Parenting Examiners: Music may... →
Say it with me folks: CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION.
If your website starts making noise before I ask it to, I think it should stop.
CRAIG - HE IS AWESOME →
“after restarting my firefox in safe mode and disabling all add-ons, then...”
– word vomit
HAH.
HAHAHHAHAH.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
Oh man, what the king of firefox extensions is trying to tell you here is that he killed firefox with too many extensions. And then he had to turn it back on in safe mode, just to get them turned off so that the application would work again,...
I just ate a whole bunch of ice and now I am C. O. L. D.
My fingernails are kind of blue. Probably not ideal.
blossomworld:
everybodycares:
(Shannon Wilsey...
Oh this? This here? This is just my webbity-bloggity thing.
Dear Several People In My Facebook Friends,
Please.
Please, please, please, stop taking pictures of you and your significant other kissing. We know that it’s not like you just got caught, candidly. You’re holding the damn camera with your hand outstretched!
We are all very proud of you for landing a (girl/boy)friend, but all we really needed to see was that “in a relationship with ___” section. Really, seriously....
I seem to have acquired the strange and very inaccurate idea that whatever window I am looking at is the one my keyboard commands will affect, rather than the one I have selected. This has resulted in the inadvertant closing of several important and only partially filled out forms.
“Possible Halloween costumes to make out of industrial weaving cones:
•...”
– via Vintage Microwave: Free May Not Be Cheap Enough