December 2009
42 posts
Phase Barf appears to be over, but Phase Fever is only just beginning. Whee.
November 2009
50 posts
There's a 6:30 in the morning too?
Hello 6:30 am, nice to meet you. Sorry if I got puke on you—I seem to be doing that a lot this morning. Yeah, I know: bummer.
you know what really makes me miss my mommy?
Food Poisoning (?)
Throwing up in the middle of the night.
Having to hold my own hair.
Taking a bowl to bed with me because of #’s 1 and 2.
It’s not even that I really need someone to take care of me, it’s that I need someone to wake up and tell about it. And yes, I know that my housemates are up, but it’s just not the saaaame. My mommy would bring me a hot water...
pajamas? pajamas!
I refuse to apologize for never making it out of my PJs today.
“This song is about getting your heart broken, but not the regular way, like the...”
– Tegan (via ttinutks) (via justlia) (via quote-book) (via fragilemacabre)
“I’ve never been kissed by a sociopath before.”
– Drew Barrymore in Everyone Says I Love You
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my...”
– Jon Stewart (via bunch)
hobbescomics:
likeneelyohara:
Blah Blah Blah |...
Atlantis - A Lost Sonnet
How on earth did it happen, I used to wonder that a whole city—arches, pillars, colonnades, not to mention vehicles and animals—had all one fine day gone under?
I mean, I said to myself, the world was small then. Surely a great city must have been missed? I miss our old city—
white pepper, white pudding, you and I meeting under fanlights and low skies to go home in it. Maybe...
“This is the song about how when time gets a little rough, you can always fall...”
– John Darnielle introducing Going to Queens at Pitzer College, CA 12.02.06. (via fuckyeahthemountaingoats)
The live recording of this night is uniformly awesome.
Also, oops, I did just TOTALLY ignore the point of...
novazembla:
lenorebeadsman:
Name: Lenore Beadsman
Occupation: Professional freaker-outer; grad student (SYNONYMMMMMS)
Interests: Swearing, drinking, hugging it out
Current Residence: Bizarro world; also, a fucking cage.
Why is it, why on earth is it, that the things I stopped doing precisely because they made me feel insecure and unhappy and took up a lot of my time and just generally...
“Is it winter again, is it cold again,
didn’t Frank just slip on the ice,...”
– October (section I) by Louise Glück - Poets.org
“There may come a day, as I say, when you have cause to sing this song. I hope...”
– John Darnielle introducing No Children at The Middle East Downstairs in Cambridge, MA, 9.26.06. (via fuckyeahthemountaingoats)
“In 1580, however, the situation altered itself abruptlyin a most unpleasant...”
– my spam folder.
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”
– Gloria Steinem (via kari-shma) (via quote-book) (via fragilemacabre)
Rachel has very nearly convinced me to bob my...
novazembla:
Even though that doesn’t always end well.
I have had many excellent experiences with bobbing my hair. I highly recommend it.
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
novazembla:
I have that sinking, sick-to-my-stomach feeling that happens when I’ve done something wrong, because it’s SO BAD. What will I do? How could I screw up like that? I can’t ever go back and fix it! Can I fix it at all?
To quote an old professor of mine, “This is what happens when you’re raised a little girl, with a big superego.” Even when I was tiny, my mother quickly learned she...
Qualities In An Excellent Boyfriend
Does not act like an idiot in public.
Or at least, does not act like an idiot in public VERY OFTEN.
Or at least, acts like an endearing idiot in public.
News Flash: Standards have slipped in the course of the production of this list.
Present Self: Dear Future Self, HAHA, I saw this coming, and yet somehow, did not manage to dodge the suck for you, LOVE, Past Self
Future Self: But wait, present self, isn't the suck something you should address, I dunno, NOW?
Present Self: No, I think I'll just leave you this creepily prescient blog post, just here, as a joking taunt, you know?
Future Self: Well, shit.
“‘I feel like I look very chic in my harem pants,’ says Ms. Betts, 34...”
– Ridicule Keeps Fans of Harem Pants From Getting Too Big for Their Britches - WSJ.com
This is an actual quote, from an actual article in the actual Wall Street Journal. Not the Onion. No, seriously.
“This eyelash is giving me the fucking blues.”
– Contestant for Miss Gay America, a drag pageant, in the movie Pageant.
from gofugyourself.com
MARC ANTHONY: Wow! What a nifty personalized athletic shirt.
J.LO: Heheheheheeeeee! My Marc, he is so precious, like a tiny wee pixie but with hormones! That shirt will eat him alive!
MARC: It is pleasing to me that the Miami Dolphins NFL Organization, which I own a piece of now, has provided me with this important shirt. Does everyone get one?
J.LO: Tee hee! It will NEVER fit him! Not even if I boil it twenty times! Mi pequeñito precioso! I had to wear my hair in barettes like I'm eight, so that I seem as teensy as he is! Thank God the rest of me looks smoking hot!
MARC: This athletic shirt symbolizes how committed I am to the game of NFL.
J.LO: Ha ha ha ha, he thinks a touchdown is when a plane lands! But that is okay, because a Certain Someone whose name rhymes with Len Affbleck knows all ABOUT sports and HE does not have his own Dolphins jersey, AND he got all bloaty that one time! HA HA HA!
MARC: And look, there's a number on it. Does that match my seat number?
J.LO: I mean, really, He Who Must Not Be Named doesn't own a piece of a professional sports team! WHO'S BETTER NOW, LORD VOLDYFLECK?
MARC: I can pair this with suit pants, right? Do I need a necktie?
J.LO: Do not worry, Miami fans, I am here to help. My Marc, he will learn the ways of the jersey.
MARC: Yes. I will be sure to wear this when I am doing athletic things, like... walking, and pumping lead.
J.LO: And I will be sure to wear mine AS A DRESS. Because if there's one thing Mrs. Ben Dumbface does not have, it's a dress made of sports! So WATCH OUT, lady! I will win again!
“It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST...”
– Virgin: the world’s best passenger complaint letter? - Telegraph
“Look at this Richard. Just look at it.”
– Virgin: the world’s best passenger complaint letter? - Telegraph
my friends' 15 formative books
novazembla:
I posted this most delightful of memes on facebook, and this is what happened.
Books mentioned twice: The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger) Boy (Roald Dahl) The Shipping News (Annie Proulx) Disgrace (J.M. Coetzee) Harry Potter (oh you know) 100 Years of Solitude (Gabriel García-Marquez, mentioned three times)
Authors mentioned twice, by different people: Johnny Cash (Cash,...
“No, my dear, that is what is classically referred to as a BAD idea.”
“You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band...”
– POGUES - FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK LYRICS
I really heart The Pogues sometimes. This has been my favorite Christmas song for several years now, although I think it’s really appropriate for all seasons, so long as you don’t sing that one verse out loud in the company of your boss/small...
novazembla:
The Mountain Goats - The Sign (live...
Unicode Snowman for You →
☃
wtf, internet. wtf.
novazembla:
cupcakenation:
breakupsong:
The...
breakupsong:
The National - Start A War
I...
get off my fucking jock
novazembla:
Crankypants lately. I’m tired of being stared at or otherwise trifled with in public.
Yesterday I got an ice cream cone and this guy passing by leered, “Lecker eis, oder?” (Tasty ice cream, or what?) He was somehow surprised that I didn’t want a nice chat. Maybe I would have responded more positively had he in some way indicated that he was interested in me as a person, rather than...
